“More haste, less speed!” This proverb is quite applicable to the intimate sphere. Sexologists agree that slower sex reveals new verges of sensuality and helps partners achieve a higher level of enjoyment.
Quick sex is often associated with tumultuous passions, but in reality is often just a way for the early orgasm production, that is banal discharge. Slow sexual intercourse has its own objectives, attracting more and more supporters. What was it like?
What is Slow Sex?
Therapist and expert in the field of human sexuality – Barnaby B. Barratt in the article “Sensuality, Sexuality and Eroticism Slowness” identified three main characteristics of a slow sex:
- Focus on process. That is each stage of attention on proximity rather than an effort to achieve finish faster.
- Focus on fun. That is concentration on the sensory perception of any touch, and not on the desire to get rid of stress.
- Playfulness. That is free and unhurried following voice of body, instead of turning sex into a clearly structured process performed for a certain period of time.
A similar notion of intimacy exists in Tantra – spiritual practice that uses the body as an instrument of knowledge.
Tantric sex involves slow, gradual coming into contact with yourself and partner, self-awareness during this contact, and powerful flow of sexual energy release, which can affect other areas of life.
Not surprisingly, western culture people are more prone to rapid sex: our civilization was formed under the influence of Christianity, which is almost demonized physicality. In addition, we are used to achieving goals and be successful.
In the context of accelerating tempo of life, we need time to get orgasms – have no time for leisurely sex.
Advantages of Slow Sex
- Slow sex significantly increases sensitivity and enhances intimacy between partners. Many sexologists agree with this statement. The fact is that opening of emotions during sexual intercourse, partners get rid of the need to “work on the result,” (it is especially important for men). Thus, sex ceases to be a stress factor. It becomes a way of relaxation and some kind of creative activity. French psychoanalyst and sex researcher – Alain Héril considers that this practice is able to return drive, even in a very long-term relationship;
- Slow sex can be a way of self-development. By focusing on sensations, person trains awareness begins to better understand yourself and live more actively. These statements are more relevant to tantric practice. Thus, the author of “The Heart of Tantric Sex. A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment” of Diana Richardson said that sex in Tantra – way to touch your own essence. By practicing it, a man discovers a source of pleasure in himself, and can truly explore partner, not perceive it as a “device” to achieve orgasm;
- Slow sex brings more pleasure in comparison with a rash. Practicing this method of intimacy, people can get to know more about orgasm control techniques. It is committed to maintaining a highly excited state, which eventually ends with orgasm and almost euphoria. A similar experience of Tantra is described in the book “In Praise of Slow: How a Worldwide Movement is Challenging the Cult of Speed” of Canadian journalist Carl Honoré. According to him, during ordinary sex, genital orgasm comes that lasts only a few seconds. Tantra as ecstasy stretches over time and amplifies it. Sexual energy is distributed throughout the body, and it beats literally convulsing with pleasure.
Sounds impressive, does not it? But how to achieve this? Here are some tips.
How to Practice Slow Sex?
- Arrange environment. For sensuality disclosure, the environment is important: smell, color, texture. You may run a bath with essential oils, scented candles, silk – in general, all that can enhance the experience. And, of course, take care of time. It takes too much time for slow sex;
- Start with the eye contact. A look can be just as exciting caress than a touch. Carefully examine partner’s body.Many women have complexes relating to figures. To overcome them, imagine that with each element of taken away clothes, you remove complexes or anxiety. Thus, baring body, and you will get rid of fear;
- Be attentive to breathing. American writer James N. Powell, who studied the culture of slow sex at the Polynesian people, advises being attentive to your and your partner breathing. So you will feel the energy that unites all the parts of your body and connects you with your partner.Sexologist Val Sampson also argues that by means of breathing exercises, people can significantly stretch male orgasm duration. For this, while in a pre-orgasm state, a man should breathe quietly and deeply trying to relax muscles. Then, instead of usual 7-10 seconds of pleasure, it can last as much as 30;
- Examine all body parts. Slow sex – an opportunity to devote time to those areas that are usually ignored during sexual intercourse. Now you have a chance to learn something new about elbows, hands, and ankles. Try a long erotic massage or prolonged caress of any particular part of the body.Be sure to follow your feelings and share them with your partner. Diana Richardson advises not to restrain themselves in reactions: if you feel embarrassed or ridiculous – laugh; want to cry – cry. Sincere emotions will only strengthen intimacy between partners;
- Practice long-lasting sexual intercourse. This advice applies more to active partner. He should penetrate very slowly (even millimeter by millimeter) and slowly go out. Try to stand still inside, feel the connection with your partner.
We used to enjoy fast frictions. Slow sex gives an opportunity to feel pleasure from the intimacy process.
And the latest update. Slow sex does not exclude presence in your life acts of quick love. Sometimes, it is necessary to give a splash of animal passion.
Ultimately it is better if partners will work together to look for the most optimal rate. Just do not rely on stereotypes: in fact, even research “The Pace of Sex: Individual preferences for the frequency of Faster vs. Slower sexual behavior” shows that men may prefer a slow sex, and women – fast.